Bad Paintings Of Me, Barack Obama: America's First Black President

After waking up next to a puddle of Hillary Clinton's vomit this morning, I decided to go find Beau, the presidential puppy. He ran up to me, licked my hand that was holding a lit cigarette, and burned his tongue on it. I laughed at him and called him an idiot. I shorted my cigarette, petted him for a while, and retreated to the Oval Office to play some Rock Band.

When I got there, I found Sonia Sotomayor face down on the Rock Band drum kit fast asleep. I guess she was up all night trying to beat some Dave Grohl jams on expert! I laughed at her. Then, I grabbed Joe Biden's cage and put him in the garbage because I thought he was looking at me funny. I sure taught him a lesson!

"SQUAAAAAAAAAWK! NUMBER TWO JOE BIDEN! SQUAAAAAAAAAAWK!"

That's what I listened to while I fell asleep at my desk for an early morning nap. Oh, and a snippet of Nirvana's "Breed" from the un-played Rock Band that was never turned off. Occasionally, Sonia shifted in her chair, and eventually fell out of it. I woke up to laugh, yawned, and then I slept for a few more hours. It was awesome!

After wiping the sleep away from my eyes, I decided to find out some things about myself on the Internet. Nothing about dinosaurs... yet! I remembered seeing a horrible painting of me one time when I was running for president, so I decided to Google: Bad Paintings Of Barack Obama. Sure enough, there were lots of really bad paintings of me! Check a few of them out here.

I want to thank Jon Edwards for sending me that link. He's such a silly goose! BYE!!!

Oh wait... I guess that means I didn't Google it. I guess that makes me a liar. Oh well. BYE!!!